Kuwentong SEX naman ngayon

Porn scene: Nakaramdam ng matinding init at uhaw ng katawan ang seksing babae. Luminga-linga siya paligid. Nakakita siya ng isang grupo ng mga lalaking nakatambay sa ilalim ng puno. Maliwanang pa ang sikat ng araw pero wala siyang pakialam. Kailangang mairaos ang tawag ng kanyang laman.

Nilapitan niya ang mga lalaki. Type niyang magpapansin….kailangan niyang magpapansin. Kailangan niya ng lalaki!! Bumilis ang mga hakbang ng magandang babae. Tumigil siya sa tapat ng apat na lalaking sabay-sabay na napalingon sa kanya.

Sa isip ng babae , “Ngayon na!” Sabay biglang itinaas niya nang husto ang isang paa niya. Natambad sa mata ng apat na lalaki ang hubo’t hubad na hiyas ng pagka-babae niya. — by Ella aka Xaviera hehehe

Wahahaha! I bet napabilis ang basa ninyo dito, ‘no? Sorry to putok your bubbles, guys, pero kuwentong sex ito ng mga hayup, hindi ng mga hinayupak

At ang babae sa porn scene natin ay babaeng hyena.

Female hyenas wear the pants in the family. They’’re bigger and stronger than the males. And definitely much more aggressive. Heck, they even got balls. Really.

A female hyena has a pseudopenis, basically an enlarged clitoris, that they can erect at will. To mate, the meeker male has to insert his penis into her pseudopenis. That’s difficult for the males, but still nothing compared to the female having to give birth through a penis!

Biologist Laurence Frank describes something else that is strange about hyenas - the way they say hello to each other: After being separated for a few hours, spotted hyenas engage in “greeting” displays that entail lifting their legs and exposing their erect pseudopenises for inspection….

Aha! Ito pala ang dahilan kung bakit laging nagtatawanan ang mga hyenang ito, ha. Jeez, I can imagine kung ganito ang “greetings” ng mga homo sapiens. Hello, I’m Ella, pero imbes na nakikipag-kamay, itataas na lang ang isang binti sabay ipapakita ang walang saplot na “beep”. Riot siguro ‘no?

Whoa! Manyak si Flipper!

Here’’s something you probably don’’t know about Flipper: he has retractable penis. And if that’’s not cool enough, here’’s something else: his penis is prehensile. And it swivels. In fact, a male dolphin can use his penis to explore objects just like a hand.

Male dolphins also have a very strong sex drive. It can mate many, many times in a day. Now here’’s the bad news: male dolphins aren’’t that much of a stud. The average time to ejaculation? 12 seconds.

Another hushed-up fact is that male dolphins have a ravenous sexual appetite: they often try to hump inanimate objects and even other animals like sea turtles. When a pack of male dolphins happen upon a female, often times they will attempt to force her to mate.

Hehehe kaya naman pala manyak ang lokong ‘to eh. Wham Bam thank you ma’am! Ika nga eh parang kidlat sa bilis LOL Oy kesehodang parang malikot na kamay at parang barenang umiikot ang kanya, kung parang wala namang nangyari sa sobrang bilis, di bale na lang, noh (sabi ni Ms. Dolphin hahaha). At naku ha, pati nananahimik na pagong at bato, re-reypin .

Porn freaks ang cute huggable pandas?

For a while, zookeepers had trouble getting pandas raised in captivity to breed. In fact, male and female pandas showed little interest in sex - that is until someone at the Chengdu Giant Panda Breeding and Research Base in Sichuan Province, China, had the bright idea of showing them panda porn!

Now, when pandas reach adulthood, zookeepers there show them steamy videos of panda sex as part of their initiation rites.

Tingnan mo nga naman ang mga lalaki talaga , no? Basta porn, ke tao, ke oso, hindi nakakaligtas. Kung bigyan kaya nila ng computer si Mr. Panda, mag-surf din kaya siya ng porn sites ?hehe Teka lang, hindi nanganganak ‘yung mga alaga kong goldfish. Papanoorin ko kaya ng porn? Hmmm….

What? Walang ‘ano’ si Mumble?? Noooo!

Penguin couples spend their lives apart from each other and meet once a year in late March, after traveling as far as 70 miles (112 km) inland - on foot or sliding on their bellies! - to reach the breeding site.

Like in most birds, penguins have no external genitalia. That’s right, male penguins don’’t have penises and the females don’’t have vaginas. The male’s sperm is produced in the testes and stored in his cloaca (kind of an all purpose orifice for defecating, urinating, and reproduction). The female also has a cloaca that leads to the ovaries. The female penguin lies flat on the ground and the male penguin presses his cloaca onto hers and passes the sperms through.

Once the egg is laid, the female Emperor Penguin transfers it very carefully to her mate (if the egg touches the ice, it would freeze and die), who then keeps the egg warm by tucking it under a large fold of skin until it hatches. The female penguin immediately returns to the sea to feed, leaving the male without food for about two months.

Okey, medyo kadiri ito. Cloaca is like “puwet”, roughly translated. And this means, sex to the penguins is “puwet to puwet”?? Eeeew, that IS totally gross! Anyways, nasira na ang mataas na pagtingin kay Mumble. I have a dancing Mumble stuffed toy. Now everytime I will see it, maiisip ko na wala pala siyang ‘ano’. Haaaay, ang cute pa naman niyang sumayaw.

But female Emperor Penguins rule! Iniiwan ang mga itlog sa mga lalaki nila sabay maglalamiyerda. That’s cool. Ander di saya si mamang penguin hehe

It is amazing how animals adapt to nature and to the limitations of ensuring the propagation of their species. Laging patunay ang mga ganitong kaalaman (lalo na ang sa Discovery channel) that there is a God.

Ika nga ng bibliya, do not worry. Look at the birds and the lillies. God takes care of them. Tao pa kaya?

~ by ella on October 10, 2007.